Wait, you're meant to find joy in sufferings?!

Lately times have been hard. There's no getting around admitting that.

I do miss my family and friends back home, but no part of me really desires to leave Australia. I love it so much here. It brings me to tears. More often I've been mourning how much I'm going to miss it here. I know when I get back to the states I will be completely heartbroken. In no way am I saying that I don't love or want to see everyone back in the States, this has nothing to do with them and I love them more then ever! It's more about my passion for this country and the people I've met.

I've been recently forced to deal with the fact that I can't keep up some relationships in the same way when I get back home. Seeing people every day, hugging them, etc. is something that is not possible and sometimes Skype just isn't enough.

The thought of these relationships being cut off has filled my heart with sorrow. Don't get me wrong I am fully aware that moving back to the states isn't the end of these friendships or relationships but putting a one year pause on everything isn't my idea of fun. Romans 5:3-5 has been incredibly comforting "More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.". But to be honest it's the second part that I've really taken to heart. The part about suffering producing endurance, and endurance producing character and so on, but the part about rejoicing in our sufferings hadn't really hit me.

On top of all this, the anniversary of Joey's death was Monday and I think it was the hardest one thus far. I struggled a lot and spent a lot of time weeping. Knowing that Jesus wept (John 11:35) when Lazarus died has lightened the burden, but that doesn't mean it isn't still really hard.

During the past few weeks it's been a struggle to get out of bed. Not in a 'depressed' way, but more of a 'I don't want another day to pass by bringing my closer to my departure' way. I also have issues with going to sleep because I hate working all day and spending so much time building up all these good emotions and finally being ok with the outcome of leaving, just to go to sleep and start from scratch the next morning.

While contemplating everything, I've come to the most incredible realization. God's faithfulness.

Something I've been praying about for 3 years has come to finally be.

You see, I've had a desire to 'rely on God so much that if He were to not come through I'd fall flat on my face -- every day'. And this is finally coming true.

I've found that the last fews weeks have been the hardest weeks of my entire life...drawing me closer and closer to the Lord. I've spent more time in prayer then I ever have in my life. I've learned how to completely rely on the Lord so much that if He didn't come through I'd be crushed. I can't get through the day without scripture and constant prayer. There isn't anything that keeps me going every day besides the Lord. I've been forced to rely on Him more then ever before.

What an answered prayer! It feels so good to know that what is getting me through each day is the same Thing that created the Heavens and the Earth.

I find new meaning to verses like 2 Corinthians 12:10 where Paul states, "For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." and finding joy in sufferings is easier then I ever imagined.

Praise the Lord.

Worst Blogger of the Year

This picture was taken right after we got off the plane!

I'm not going to spend much time discussing how horrible I am at keeping up with blogs because I feel like it's obvious. That being said let's not dwell and move right along with a much needed update!!

Things in Sydney have been great. Never a dull moment.

I pretty much planned out my life about 9 months ago. I decided I'd finish school with a bachelors of social work in December of 2012. Study abroad Spring 2011 in Australia (just for fun!), then study abroad again during the Summer of 2012 in Mexico to finish up my Spanish minor. After my undergrad, I'd go to grad school for the one extra year and get my masters (because let's face it, it's impossible to do anything with social work with just a BSW). After finishing school for good I'd move to Austin, Texas where I'd start my job with Hospice (you can find out more about what Hospice is here), while also working with an adoption agency on the side. (I've always had a huge heart for adoptions and I'm so passionate about it!). At some point I'd get married and do that whole thing but I'd let that just fall into place when it felt like it. So that was the plan.

Then I went to Australia.

Ever since I stepped off the plane I've felt an immense feeling of belonging. I haven't been shy about how much I love Australia, but how could I be? When you know, you know. And I know that I love Australia. I wasn't sure what I was going to do about this feeling or how this would fit into my life but I started to pray daily about the Lord revealing His Will to me, and what He wanted me to do about the great country of Australia.

About a few weeks ago I found out just what that might be. While talking to a friend that lives in Sydney I found out about how hard the adoption process is in Australia. My heart was initially broken for these kids and for this country. Since then I've read a few articles about it (http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/36942.html is a good one) and done some independent research (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adoption_in_Australia is good for a general overview) and I honestly believe this is why I came to Australia. This is the reason God called me here in the first place. I want to change this.

That sounds impossible, doesn't it? Regardless, this is something I've felt the Lord put on my heart and it's something I want to see through. Between 2008-2009 in Australia 68 children were locally adopted. I couldn't find a recent statistic for the United States but I did find that in 2001 alone approximately 127,000 children were adopted. The adoption process here in Australia is around $40,000 and can take about 8 years. Most couples have resorted to adopting from other countries.

Call me naive for believing that I can make a difference but when you are given such a clear image of the Lord's Will can you honestly turn away and say no? Especially with verses like Romans 8:23, "And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies." and Ephesians 1:5 "He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will," resonating within my heart. We are adopted children(!), and that realization sparks something deep inside me.

So that's where my heart is. If yall could be praying with me that would be incredible. (For my future in Australia, the adoption process, the right people to reveal themselves that can help make a difference/connections, for the Lord's Will to be done in Australia, for the children in the system, for the families applying and the government's role/soft hearts)

Thankful for the few who still read this! Love!

April flowers bring May showers....of blessings

On the way to the Sydney Opera House!

My time in Australia is nearing an end. I have a little less then 2 months left and the days seem to be flying by faster and faster. It seems like it was just yesterday I was in Fiji daydreaming about finally getting to Oz. With that being said I intend to make the most of my next 2 months here!

So many fun things have happened so this post will be a jam-packed, random one but still good. For starters,  I thought it might be nice to update everyone on the prayer request I mentioned at the beginning of this journey and while I'm at it, add a little more! I'll strike out the ones done or achieved so we can Praise God for answered prayers!

-God to be glorified during this 5 month trip ongoing
-Comfort for my family (especially my mom!!) ongoing
My flight to LA and then Fiji
The family I am staying with in Fiji for 10 days during my Environmental Studies class
The other study abroad student I am staying with in Fiji with the host family
My classes in Fiji
My flight from Fiji to Sydney
-My roommates in Sydney ongoing
That I will find/have a support system in Australia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My flight to Cairns & The Great Barrier Reef/My flight from Cairns back to Sydney
Safety in the Great Barrier Reef (this actually ended up being during all the disasters in Japan)
-My classes in Sydney ongoing
-Friends I meet in Sydney and in Fiji to see the love of Christ poured out through my actions ongoing
-General safety ongoing
Hopefully being able to go to New Zealand during one of the school breaks (not gonna happen...but no worries! I'm having the time of my life!)
-Remaining in constant prayer during the entire trip ongoing!
-Encouragement to continue reading daily ongoing!
-Not getting sick or needing to go to the hospital in a foreign country ongoing
-Flight back to US
-Great memories and friends ongoing
-God's Kingdom to grow ongoing

added prayer requests as of 5/5/11

-God's will to be done above every and any prayer request we may think up
-Cornerstone Church to reach Pyrmont and make a notable difference in Christ's name
-Cornerstone Church to be attractive to residents of Sydney not because of cool stuff or even the nice people, but because of the Truth being preached from 10:15-11:15 am
-A revival for Pyrmont/Sydney/Australia
-Lifelong bonds & encouragement to keep in touch
-My mom's flight to and from Australia in June
-YoungLife Australia
-Fire to continue building in my heart for Christ & knowing Him deeply
-Camp Kedron campers

I'm so thankful for what Christ has been doing in Australia and in my heart. We're going through Acts at Cornerstone and while I'm reading it during my personal time I've been so encouraged. I've read Acts a few times but openly said it wasn't really anything cool to me. After reading it this time I think it's one of the coolest and most encouraging books in the entire bible! How could I be so blind! Praise God!

On to other things way less important:
I went to the Sydney Opera House! It was pretty neat because, frankly, how many people can say they've seen a show at the Sydney Opera House!
I found a flesh eating spider in my bed. Well that's debated but I'm convinced. And yes it was terrifying.

I guess that's pretty much it. I thought there were heaps more things to say but they seem to be slipping my mind since I'm running on 0 hours of sleep (that's what happens when you wake up with flesh eating spiders in your bed...you're scared to ever go back to sleep)