You're worth it.

This weekend I went on leadership retreat where I was able to hear Bob Mitchell, one of the first members of Young Life, speak. He is incredible. His dad donated money to Jim Rayburn to start up the first club (even though it was called something different then), Bob's entire family became believes because of Young Life and Bob went on to become the president of Young Life years later. Obviously he isn't too young but he is so full of knowledge, and on top of all that - he is hilarious! I took some videos of him speaking-

This one is about Jim Rayburn and a camping trip they went on. The first part got cut off but basically Bob was talking about how on the camping trip Jim had a blow up mattress and everyone else had sleeping bags and they were so upset that in the middle of the night they unplugged his mattress and let all the air out...

And this one is about him being old (:

I love him and am so blessed to have been able to listen to him speak.

my birthday is in 53 days

or something like that.

I don't care about possessions but if you feel the need.....

why not one for one?!?

Borges Cordones -size 8

Dolina Cordones -size 8

Shirt -small

I love TOMS shoes, and have had a long unwanted break with a new pair. The shoes have gotten pretty pricey so if you want to chip in $5 I would be $5 closer to a new pair! It's been toooo long. The styles go fast so I'm sure in 50 days these will be gone.

With that being said if you want to give me money I'd much rather you pledge a donation to Frisco YoungLife to get kids to camp! We are having a bowl-a-thon on April 18th (oh 2 days after my birthday, how convenient!!) and you can pledge to donate per pin I knock down!! It would be so great if you could help us out! Let me know (:

If you email me your mailing address I'll get a fundraising letter sent to you along with an extra envelope to send donations back!

Etty Hillesum

a young Jewish girl who kept a journal during her stay at Auschwitz.

"Sometimes when I stand in some corner of the camp, my feet planted on Your earth, my eyes raised towards Your Heaven, tears sometimes run down my face, tears of deep emotion and gratitude. And I want to be there right in the thick of what people call horror and still be able to say: life is beautiful. Yes I lie here in a corner, parched and dizzy and feverish and unable to do a thing. Yet I am also with the jasmine and the piece of sky beyond my window. For once you have begun to walk with God, you need only keep on walking with God and all of life becomes one long stroll-- a marvelous feeling."

Control issues.

-I am still missing a drawer in my kitchen

-My closet light doesn't/hasn't ever work

-Maintenance hates me.

-My internet stopped working and I had to call and get my unit replaced

-My financial aid took 2 months to go through

-I had to change apartments 2 days before I moved in because my apartment wasn't ready forcing me to call my cable/internet, bank & electric company to change my address last minute

-Walmart charged me twice for one big purchase and couldn't fix it for a month

-The dog situation has gone way down hill

-My oven is about 100 degrees hotter then what it is suppose to be

-My smoke alarm goes off weekly

-My freezer doesn't work and I didn't know until I spent $30 on frozen foods just for them to go bad

-I still have yet to receive all my text books

-I bought the wrong textbooks off craigslist because of false advertisement

-My hot water only works for 15 minutes

-I got ripped off by ebay trying to buy movies

Honestly the list could go on.

I was driving home the other day thinking about if moving to Denton was the right thing for me to do, I mean all this stuff keeps happening. Once one crisis is adverted another one bigger and harder comes to light. After praying about this I came to realize that I had lost complete control of my life, but seconds later I realized that I never had control of my life. Sure when I decided to move to Denton I had everything going for me and everything thing was falling into place but to think I had control was a misconception being fed by Satan.

I guess I like being in control, maybe that's my fatal flaw, maybe this whole experience moving to Denton was to teach me that I'm never in control. I loved Arkansas, but God picked me up and said no. After dealing with that I tried to make plans for Denton and God changed every single one of them. Every plan. To where I ended up in a studio apartment across from a county jail with a broken oven and freezer.

I like it this way. (No sarcasm) I like being constantly reminded that God is in control of my life. These little mishaps that keep coming up are wonderfully showing me His greatness. I've come to love not being in control. It's so much less stressful and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. What's funny is I was the one putting all the weight on my shoulders to begin with. God never expected me to try and control my life, my parents never expected me to carry the weight of our family and my friends didn't expect me to control the outcome of our friendship. I am so thankful that I've never been in control, with my track record who knows where I'd be, but thanks to God's grace I've ended up alright. I'm still alive, well physically. I'm not in jail, I'm following Jesus and I have a personal relationship with Christ.

I feel a cheesy Carrie Underwood song coming to mind...

7:01 PM

I wrote this blog about an hour ago maybe more, maybe less. After feeling satisfied I sat down to read some more of Prayer by Yancy to keep up my chapter a day only to find this statement about humility:

"Most of what I am -- my nationality and mother tongue, my race, my looks and body shape, my intelligence, the century in which I was born, the fact that I am still alive and relatively healthy --I had little or no control over. On a larger scale, I cannot affect the rotation of planet earth, or the orbit that maintains a proper distance from the sun so that we neither freeze nor roast, or the gravitational forces that somehow keep our spinning galaxy in exquisite balance. There is a God and I am not it. "

God has the best sense of humor and He is so Good.