I'll stay with you.

I've written at least 5 blogs about Joey, spent hundreds of hours thinking and talking about him and the tears I've cried are countless.

Let me be the first to say I am aware of how annoying it is. It's easy to just say "ok, you've spent 2 years being sad, it's time to get over it". I genuinely wish it was that easy. I wish I could just say "alright, I've mourned now it's over and I can get on with my life". But I can't. People that haven't lost someone don't know how it hurts, but losing someone close isn't a pain I'd wish on my greatest enemies.

It's real and it's numb.

It's hard and it's confusing.

It's long and it's slow.

It's lonely and it's sad.

Joey and I met for coffee on May 28th, 2008 to discuss his plans for California.

Joey died on May 30th.

I graduated high school on June 7th.

The Zwall's asked me to come over on June 8th where I was told of what had happened.

Every year between May 28th, and June 8th, I am covered burdened with pain. I still have to remind myself that he is really gone. I don't go days without thinking about him, ever. And his memory is often on my mind.

Please don't get me wrong, I am not fishing for sympathy nor am I trying to make anyone sad. Remember, "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away" Revelation 21:4. The point of this story is God wins. Why is the Old Testament different then the New Testament? Because we wouldn't know how much Jesus was needed. How much Jesus is needed. We sometimes need to experience pain to appreciate Goodness.

As the anniversary of the day I found out my best friend was killed approaches I selfishly ask for prayers of comfort for myself and the Zwall family (Wendy, Jeff & Matt), as well as all of the friends Joey left here.

I'll stay with you, the walls will fall before we do.

ilu Joey Robert Zwall.