I am twenty years old, I have tons of life ahead of me. Tons.
If everything falls into place, in 7 months I will be on my way to Australia.
I have 2 years of school left.
I'm pretty much busy 24/7.
I don't have time for a husband or a boyfriend for that matter, and even if I did I would be crazy to start a relationship before I left for Australia. How could I enjoy studying abroad if my heart was in America? I have been praying so hard against meeting someone interesting before I leave because I don't want to be distracted. I also have been praying hard against meeting anyone in Australia because I know in the heat of the moment I'll convince myself it will work out when in reality, it wont.
That being said, while I was in high school I'd go from guy to guy. Sometimes I wouldn't take my foot off one guy unless I had a firm footing on another guy. This has been going on since I started dating, in 7th grade so this dating method has really been drilled into me. I think the longest I went being truly single was 3 months. In April 2009 I made a pact to stay single for a year, I broke that pact in August for a short 4 month relationship. It has been 7 months since I've been in a relationship and although, it's been hard, it's been so good. With this study abroad trip planned, if all goes as planned I will be single for a total of 20 months.
I tell you all of that to say frankly, this is an area where I am weak. And because I am weak the Devil likes to use everything in his power to get me to cave. More recently then not, I've noticed more and more friends getting married, along with more of my friends getting serious with their boyfriends. Every tv show is filled with reminders, and just a walk in the grocery store is a sad hint of my relationship status. I find myself thinking I could easily go back to my old way of life, dating just to date and not dating to glorify Jesus. I know that sounds a little intense, but these last 7 months that I've had to think, and even before that I'd realized how important living for Christ is.
I truly want to get married for 3 main reasons.
One, To understand how much Christ loved the Church.
Two, To grow in my relationship with Christ through encouragement from someone who loves me and watch someone I love grow closer to Someone I love even more.
Three, To hang out with my best friend 24/7
Obviously there are other reasons as well, but those are the main ones. All the other things that come along with marriage I could honestly do without as long as I had those 3. But the extra perks are nice.
I want my relationship to be centered around the advancement of Christ. I also don't want to date anyone just because they are a Christian.
I know the Lord is preparing my heart. I know the Lord is building me up by forcing me to be patient. I know the Lord is faithful.
Even if I were to die tomorrow, or live until I was 102 without ever getting married I know the Lord has some great plans for me. If I am not meant to get married, I know that the Lord has better plans for me. Through all of this I have constantly kept in mind 1 Corinthians 7 and Pauls thoughts on the single life.
God is so fulfilling. He truly is. I don't need a husband to be complete. All I need is the Lord and I'm set for life.
Isaiah 54:5 says "For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth He is called."
No comments:
Post a Comment