Prayin' for all those rude people

Prayer. It's a part of our everyday lives...or it should be. Ok confession time, about this time last year I'd conceder myself on the way towards a strong, biblically sound faith. But was my prayer life coming along for the ride? Absolutely not. Sure, I'd pray at night before I went to sleep for a few minutes...when I remembered. During the day I'd try and pray for the people I saw walking to class, the younglife kids back in Frisco were a hot topic, my relationship and friendships were always touched on, etc. If you were to ask me if I had a solid prayer life I'd say definitely. Because at that point, I thought I did. I thought, "Hey, Jesus prayed so it ought to be pretty important right? I should set aside at least 10 minutes during the 1440 that I am given. Yea! That should do it!" Today, I look back on that and laugh.

It was November 27th that I started a journal on a misson. The misson was to go as long as possible without skipping one night of prayer. After 43 days in a row of prayer I missed one night. I will never forget the next morning, I had just moved into my apartment and with moving and building furniture (thanks ikea.) and getting settled I passed out before I got to spend good solid time with the Lord. It tormented me. Not just for a couple of minutes, but the entire day. After that I went 32 days of prayer and flaked out once again. This one hit me a little harder, and for a week I prayed about how upset I was. Eventually I got over it and started back up again until I finished my entire moleskine. I got the journal on October 17th, 2009 (a year from yesterday), didn't start really using it as a prayer journal until November 27th but filled all the pages by June 9th. A little over 6 months. I don't say any of this to brag, not at all! I say it to say in those 6 months my growth with God was tremendous. I am 90% sure without that solid prayer life my relationship with God would have disintegrated. During these 5 months I was moving 300 miles, and starting a new life with no friends and no social support system. There were days when I wanted to drop out, there were days I wanted to move back to Arkansas but when I had no one, The Lord was there. Listening to every word I thought up, enjoying the words that flowed from my pen. (Proverbs 15:8) And I was comforted. Did it happen immediately? No. Did it happen every time I felt alone? No. But it happened enough for me to realize that constant prayer changes things. "Sometimes when we pray it feels as if God has indeed nodded off. Raise your voice, Jesus' story implies (Luke 11). Strive on, like the shameless neighbor in the middle of the night. Keep pounding (on) the door." After reading that I realized I need to be shameless. I need to keep pounding at that door. Being comforted by Luke 11 was only the beginning.

I recently have finished a book on Prayer (only 10 months later! Thanks, college.) and the wisdom that I've come away with has changed not only my life but my heart. To say that I love people would be an understatement. I mean, I'm a social work major for cryin' out loud. I love to love people. And to hear their stories is one of my favorite things about what I get to do every day. I honestly go to class and feel like I'm cheating some kind of system by taking classes that will not only help a career but my life, my family and my friends. That being said, I can be pretty judgmental at times. A girl in my spanish class asks me if we have a test that day and I immediately think she is an idiot. Someone cuts me off when I'm in a hurry. I overhear a conversation about my favorite baseball team and the people talking don't know anything about any of the players...or baseball for that matter. The little things through my day that make me A) think I'm better then everyone else and B) give me a reason to make fun of them. I knew by judging them I was being hateful and even sinning at times, but I thought the cure was to just try and stop.

That may work for some people but as this problem was growing, my heart was getting sicker and sicker. Finally after a few slaps in the face I read this passage "I see intercession as an increase in my awareness. When I pray for another person, I am praying for God to open my eyes so that I can see that person as God does, and then enter into the stream of love that God already directs toward that person. Something happens when I pray for others in this way. Bringing them into God's presence changes my attitude toward them and ultimately affects our relationship. I pray for the neighbor who is always trying to sneak out of paying his share of neighborhood assessments and begin to see him not as a conniver but as a friendless man who lives with constant financial worries.". Why not pray? When I pray for these people that make me angry, the people that cut me off or ask stupid questions I'm giving them a face. I'm giving them a soul. When I see the girl in spanish I don't immediately think she is dumb, but I think about the last time I prayed for her and I wonder if those prayers have been answered. Is she a freshman worried about school and overwhelmed by her classes? How's she feeling now? Does she need tutoring or help of any kind? What can I do to help her life be easier? How can I show her Christ through my actions?

It's such an easy thing to do, but I never thought to do it. Not seriously at least.

How can we pray for someone we are angry with or don't like and walk away with a bitter taste? How is it possible to come before Our Lord, asking to see people as He sees them, and remain angry? 1 Corinthians 8:11 says "And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died". Christ died for that person that cut me off. Christ died for that person that made a rude comment about my outfit. Christ died for the tax collectors, and the shammed.

"I pray for all the faces I have seen, and they become not just faces but fellow human beings who have fallen victim to evil on this planet. As I pray, their pain becomes mine, and I bring their plight before God."

(all quotes unless stated otherwise were from Philip Yancey's book "Prayer")

Happy Happy Birthday!

I know I said I wouldn't write any more sad post about Joey, but it's his birfday!

For your birthday this year I will put up an incredibly embarrassing picture of us before we went to homecoming one year.

You'd be 20 today! Meaning this 4 year old picture should be burned. Haha no, but really I love you and will be spending the day celebrating your life and how wonderful you were.

Anne said it best "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

Blogging fail

I have been a total flake when it comes to blogging consistently. When I started this blog I originally wanted to blog 2 times a week! It's crazy that it's been months since my last real blog, but I guess I don't want to fake it. I don't want to write a blog when I feel like the Lord hasn't moved my heart because then this blog would be more about me and less about what the Lord has been teaching me. That being said, here goes a small life update.

If you saw my last blog you would have seen my sister getting married. Actually, in the particular picture my dad was giving her away, but you know what I mean. The wedding was last Saturday and the ceremony was beautiful, I was amazed at how my sister and Cheyne completely stayed true to their values. If anyone would have replicated their wedding it would have been tacky but because it was Stephanie & Cheyne, it was perfect. Hopefully you can't tell in any of the pictures taken, but the entire time I was on the verge of losing it because of all the joy in my heart. Simply beautiful.

Moving on, school has started! I love my Social Work classes. I hate my 3 hour blocks of class. No, but really, since my classes are scheduled for me and only offered at one time every SW class is once a week so I literally have class for 7 hours in a row on Tuesdays and then work. Not that I'm complaining because my classes are filled with hypothetical situations and mock cases which are a blast, but it is definitely draining.


The Lord continues to provide in my life. I think I am starting to realize I don't need a lot of friends to be happy. I think I just need a few friends I can call community, my family and the Lord. (Sorry to continue talking about this) Due to the wedding a lot of my family came in from out of town and I was constantly reminded how blessed I am to have such a huge and loving family. These people truly care about me and would be here in a minute if I needed help.

I have recently discovered my love for writing letters. Not facebook messages or emails, actual handwritten letters that you mail...with a stamp. That's all I am going to say about that for now.

That's all I want to blog about for now. Usually when I blog it sparks something inside that forces me to blog 3 more times in the next 24 hours and maybe I'll have something insightful to say. We'll see.

My Sister's Wedding

Angels.

At bible study tonight we talked about blogs and it reminded me of something I use to have...oh wait, no I still have one of these suckers. Autumn brought up an idea, what if everyone had a blog? I'd imagine it'd be a lot of complaining and whining (welcome to my blog), but whining aside it would remind everyone that those people you interact with every day- they have souls. They have thoughts. They have feelings. They have lives outside of you.

Let's take a look at the last 24 hours.
About this time last night I was in Walmart trying to find ink for my moms printer so I could print out my sisters bridal invitations and get them mailed before I went out of town. I walked into Walmart with a bad attitude and passed the greeter, wait why is he still here? Does he work every night at midnight? Why doesn't he get to greet people in the day time? He seemed nice. Does he have multiple jobs and this is just his second or third one of the day? What would his blog say? Soul. Now I'm practically sprint-walking to the electronic section because it's been a long day, too long. Woops, since I was walking too fast I almost ran into a night time shopper coming out of the spice isle with his cart. Soul. What was he doing out so late? Was everything ok at home? Does he have a wife and kids back home and couldn't sleep? Or maybe this is when he did his shopping to avoid all the chaos during the day? He seemed nice as well, he apologized for almost running into me even though I knew it was my fault and I took his apology and wished him a nice night. Finally hanging the sharp left towards the electronics. Passed the shoe section and saw a worker stocking the shoe department. Wait, now that I think about it there were tons of workers stocking the food isles that I over looked. Do they restock every night? It seems as if every night I come to Walmart they are restocking. Why were they working the late shift? What would their blogs say? Are they content with Jesus? Is this job a ministry opportunity? Or are they looking for something more? Are they the type of people that just go to work and go home without any social interaction? Soul, Soul, Soul. Ahhh the electronic section! Of course I walked down every single isle until I found myself at the end of the electronic section where they keep the printer ink. They only have 4 ink options! Wait, I think I saw a women stocking some products by the electronic help desk. Again, what is she doing working so late? I usually praise Sam Walton for 24 hour Walmart's but I never thought about the people working? These people aren't on a very good sleep schedule. Maybe they can't sleep, and they want something to do. Maybe this job is a blessing not a curse. Soul. Found more ink for printers. Of course they don't have the ink I need. I'll go ask that women working, she doesn't look too overwhelmed. Who am I kidding? She has at least 15 unopened boxes and looks as tired as I feel. I ask anyways, she has no clue but opts to opening a box of random printer stuff and dumps it on the floor to sift through. That's not going to be fun to pick up and put away. A man and a women walk up in their pajamas and ask about censoring in movies, the worker doesn't know. 2 Souls. What were they doing? Do they realize it's already midnight and they want to buy a movie and watch it now? Why am I so tired? They don't look tired. What would their blog say? Do they love each other? They are obviously dating. Maybe their married? The worker continues to look through the pile of random printer stuff for my ink. A women and 3 kids walk up to the worker. 4 Souls. Wait, does SHE know what time it is? Why does she have those kids out at midnight! She tries to control them  but she looks too stressed to care at this point. She proceeds to ask the worker, I wish I looked at her name, if they carry a charger for her phone. Apparently her husband came back from IRAQ today and her phone died and she cant call him and the other Walmart didn't carry her phone's charger and she's been driving around trying to find one. The worker turns to me and tells me they don't have the ink for my printer. Are you kidding?! All that for nothing. I guess I'll find a different Walmart. I ask the worker where the closest Walmart is and she doesn't know. The women with the 3 kids tells me the closest 4 Walmart's are. She was a big help. I feel bad for getting annoyed when she interrupted me earlier. Now I really fly down the isles on the way to my car. Finally out of the walmart, and on the phone trying to call the one 5 miles away. A women answers and has no idea what an "Epson Printer" is and tells me they don't have ink for it. What was she doing working late? Where was her office? She answered pretty quickly and knew what kind of ink they had without hesitating. Was that her job? To just answer phones? Soul. On to the next Walmart. In fear of them rejecting me I opted not to call and thought I'd just wing it. This one was 6 miles away but it'd be ok because it was already 12:45. Walk past the greeter, again another nice man. Soul. What were all these nice men doing out so late? What did they want to be when they grew up? Is being a Walmart greeter their hopes and dreams? Running to the back of the store this Walmart seems unoccupied. Electronic section. My ink! They have it! On to the check out lane. There is a man infront of me in line, but I'm too keen on figuring out if I want the kit-kat or just a hersheys chocolate bar. I pick the kit-kat. It's my turn to pay. A man puts his stuff behind mine but doesn't put a divider. He was with a girl, they were older. What were they doing out late buying planters soil? Weird. The cahier was quite. I wonder what his plans were for after work. Not in a weird way, just I wonder what his life consists of. He was nice. The night is complete! Hardly. I make my way back to Melissa to print out the invitations. I pass a few cars but not too many. Souls, Souls, Souls. Finally get back to Melissa and work until 6:30 with my mom on the invites and get them done just in time for her to leave for work. What a great mom. Quick nap and on the road again to Denton. A nap should be in my near future but I needed to get the invites out or staying up all night to finish them would be pointless. Stop by the post office. I stayed at the front door an extra 15 seconds to hold the door for a random man. He was so grateful. Soul. On my way to the back I run into Adam, one of my 3 friends that hang out around Denton. We talk for about 30 minutes. I really am grateful for him and Autumn in my life. At least 20 people pass us. 20 Souls. It's the time I've been dreading, waiting in the Post Office line. I dislike this post office the most because it sometimes takes an hour just in line. I walk inside and they have 4 workers. They've never had that many people working the front before. There are 6 people in front of me. One older women with a lot of makeup smiles at me. I smile back. Soul. It only takes 15 minutes to purchase my stamps. Success. I wonder how long theses postal workers have been here. Everyone hates the post office, so I know they get a hard time pretty much all day. They must be tired. They must be passionate about being a postal worker for still working here. What would their blog say? The man that helps me was so nice. He has always been my favorite and the one that I secretly hope to get every time I have to go in. I put the stamps on my invites and sense someone looking at me. I look up. Bingo. A man looked interested in what I was doing but I was too tired to care. Soul. Dump the invites into the mail slot and head out to my car. Start the car. Finally pull into my apartment complex and stop to pay my rent. Melissa was working and she is my favorite worker so I felt safe giving her my rent check. What could be keeping her at these crappy apartments? She is such a mother figure it makes me feel a lot better about not knowing anyone in this town. Soul. Get back in my car and drive to my apartment. Unload my car and crash on the couch for a few minutes. Check the TV to see if Boy Meets World recorded. TV doesn't work. Internet doesn't work. Call Verizon. On hold for 30 minutes and finally connect to an actual human. He was nice. I wonder wehre he lives. Did my call stay in America? Soul. The line cuts out. I call back and wait on hold for 15 minutes. Someone answers only long enough to say hello before I accidentally end the call. Soul. Call for the 3rd time only to get a call on the other line from the first man that I talked too. Thankful. He sets up a mechanic to come out but he wont be here until tomorrow. Finish up the conversation and end the call. Call Crossroads where I got a speeding ticket. A young sounding women answers and tells me that my ticket wont be in the system until next week. I'm going out of town on Monday. This is not good. Was she being lazy and not processing it or were the computers really slow. It's a small town, it's no Dallas. Soul. Hang up the phone. Bible Study. Soul, Soul, Soul. Pull some wires and fix my internet. Type blog.

Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Hebrews 13:1-2 These people have souls. These people could be on the verge of finding Jesus. They could already have a great foundation. We would never know if we didn't care. They could be angels, for all we know.

When I started this blog, I thought it would be quick. I didn't realize how many people I'd actually interacted with in 24 hours. How many people have you seen in the last 24 hours? How many souls did you over look?

Prayer; God; Fellowship

This week has been rough. But the way my friends have truly cared for me has helped my heart in more ways then words can describe.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

Hebrews 13:3 "Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. "

Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."

The bible calls us to help others, and to see the bible played out in my own life has been a positive thing

How To Save A Life

As I type up this blog my cousin is dying. He doesn't have much time left because there is a bunch of crap going on with his liver. That is obviously not the technical term for it but it would make no difference to me if someone really explained what was going down because that won't change the facts.

Another one of my cousins, his brother, has quit drinking alcohol and has been preparing to give Jess a part of his liver in order to save his life. It's really an incredible thing Jay Michael is doing, changing his life to save the life of his brother. Watching what he eats and everything he does. ("This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:12-13) The transplant was suppose to go down early July but Jess got really sick and his white blood cells couldn't handle the transplant so they postponed it. Things have really taken a turn for the worst and it looks like just part of Jay Michael's liver wont be enough. There is one way Jess can survive, and that is to receive an entire liver from an organ donor.

I don't like this situation. Not only because my family is being hurt, but because this happens every day. People die. Sometimes people die quickly and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Sometimes people get sick and die slowly, and there is something to be said about that. I wonder if every person became an organ donor how many lives would be saved. I know people are going to die, so why not try and save other people's lives after you are done with yours?

There are tons of myths that go along with becoming an organ donor, for example: if you are an organ donor the doctors wont try as hard to save your life because they can use your body to help tons of people. False. Or how about you can't have an open casket because the doctors are going to destroy your  body. Also not true. (doctors) (open casket)

Becoming an organ donor is so easy. The process is different state by state but this website is very helpful http://organdonor.gov/donor/index.htm you should check it out.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." God continues to be good. I know that if Jess passes away tomorrow that God remains the same. That God is good and that in the end, this is good. I have been an organ donor since my 18th birthday, but this has truly opened my eyes to how important it really is. Do you want to change the world? If you already love Jesus and know you are going to spend forever with Him, why not give someone a second chance to get to know Him?

Be an organ donor, save a life.


Update
"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38
Jess passed away on July 21st, 2010 around 4:30 am.