YoungLifeSeniorClub

So tonight was YoungLife Senior Club. I thought I wouldn't be emotional because I've only been with these girls for a semester. I thought that I wouldn't be that sad because I didn't watch these girls grow up and I didn't spend too much time with them before this past year.

I was wrong. I didn't get visibly emotional but at the end of club, watching the brave seniors stand on stage, in a place I was just 2 short years ago, and talk about what YoungLife has done for them was incredible. The point always being Jesus, and their appreciation for the organization. When they mentioned how much their leaders had done for them it was so touching. A girl I actually took to camp this summer came up to me after and thanked me for everything I'd done for her and in that moment I realized the gift that God gave me.

I often say that God could be doing this ministry without me and that it is a blessing that He has given me the opportunity to minister to high school girls, but to hear some of the testimonies from these students was pure blissful truth that I am the blessed one. The love I have for them is real, they have real souls and are going to go on to do real incredible things.

Happy Birthday to me!

So my birthday is in about 20 minutes.

Usually I get really excited about birthdays and usually I get let down. I place these outrageous expectations on one day and it NEVER works out.

Tonight as I was leaving campaigners, I started getting my hopes up for tomorrow. I mean I have had the most amazing week of my life. Really, I have. Tuesday I was in Austin and marched to the capital and rallied and just had a BLAST. Wednesday I got into the social work program and got one of the nicest letters ever from one of my summer staff friends (shout out to SAL!) and then today I just had an all around great day. I feel all this momentum leading up to my 20th birthday which has to be great?! Right?!

So as I started getting my hopes up I realized what was happening. I realized that I ALWAYS get my hopes up and am always let down so I immediately started telling myself not to get my hopes up. That it was just another day and if I have high expectations they are going to betray me and I am going to end up with another sad birthday. THEN I realized that I was being ridiculous.

It's my 20th birthday. The one day that I get to celebrate this crazy idea God had-- giving me life, and letting me be apart of this universe. Have expectations! But in the end, even if it is a horrible day and everything goes wrong remember that God still loves me. God still wants me to be apart of His family and above everything else, God is good.

(p.s. photo by the BEAUTIFUL Kristin Bohacek)

PTL PTL PTL

Praise. The. Lord.

Thank you personally for praying for me.

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about how I felt so isolated in Denton and how I'd tried to make friends and it wasn't happening-- see Are You kidding me?

Well, God has responded. This blog probably wont be too long but I just wanted to say thank you so much. On Wednesday I was able to meet with a fellow UNT transfer student and it was a blast! We got lunch and I had a great time talking and being in fellowship with each other. That night I went to an event at The Village and met a girl that is a member of The Village and we prayed together and it was awesome! THEN, Thursday I went to Frisco a few hours before young life so I could do some bible studying and I met this guy that goes to the Village and he invited me to a home group!!

To say that the Lord has been faithful would be a complete understatement. The Lord has been more then faithful and I am so encouraged by Him.

PTL

Can Someone Keep Me Accountable?

Here is my reading (and a few of them are rereads) list!

Prayer -Yancey
The Ragamuffin Gospel - Manning
50 Reasons Why Jesus Came To Die -Piper
Desiring God - Piper
The Amazing Love Story - Ashburn
Velvet Elvis -Bell
The One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven -Cahill
Crazy Love -Chan
Forgotton God -Chan
Don't Waste Your Life -Piper
Searching For God Knows What - Miller
Same Kind of Different As Me -Hall
C.S. Lewis's Case for Christ -Lindsley
The Heavenly Man -Yun
Mere Christianity -Lewis
Blue Like Jazz - Miller
Jesus Wants To Save Christians- Bell
The Meaning of Prayer -Fosdick
Purpose for the Pain -Yohe
The Case For A Creator -Strobel

Goal= read all these books before the end of the summer.

4/1/2009

I started reading bibleinayear.

I recently finished this, and it was wonderful. Plus 8

I read THEMESSAGE//REMIX PAUSE-and it wasn't until 100 days prior to finishing that I realized how much I wish I had picked any other translation to read. Minus 2

Don't get me wrong, I have a love for The Message and the way Eugene wrote it for 21st century relevance, but I got a little tired of him inserting his theology into God's word. That being said, I am going to keep The Message around for years to come to compare translations and to read for fun, but no hardcore bible studies. Let's be real. Plus 2

Therefore!

Favorite Old Testament books

1) 1 Samuel (DAVID is my favorite OT character not including God duh)

2) JOB!!! (God is SOOOO sarcastic to Job. Yea I said it. Sarcastic. Love Him so much) Plus 3

3) Amos

4) Isaiah (Only because of how obvi Jesus is in it)

5) Ecclesiastes

Favorite New Testament books

1) Romans, Philippians, Ephesians (in no particular order)

2) Jude, Colossians, Hebrews, James, 1 Peter (in no particular order)

It was hard enough to limit myself to those. Sorry about all the ties, I just can not pick. You should see these books in my bible. Pretty much every verse is highlighted. And I don't say that to make myself sound SpIrItUaL, I say that because I am being completely ridiculous. Love them. Can any of us really pick a number one? Or number 2? The books not listed I still LOVE. Plus 1

Gospel's in order of most favorite to favorite

1) Luke

2) John

3) Mark

4) Matthew

They are all pretty close though. Maybe a tenth of a point off. Because they are all lovely. Plus 1

Honestly I have learned so much. The bible is SO relevant (and I don't just say that because I was reading the Message) most of the time when I found a monumental story I'd read it in NIV and ESV. Plus 2

Speaking of, I have converted officially to ESV. AmyKitchel bought me an ESV study bible for my Baptism (which deserves its own blog entry but I've been too lazy to write/busy finishing the bible) and I have been rocked by it. Plus 6

A) I got a code for esvstudybible.org which is my new favorite website. It will read you the bible, you can store your notes about certain chapters, highlight whatever you want and read study material about most verses. Pretty much it's your bible online. I know there are like 10000 sites that do this already but no, I promise this site will change your life.

B) It is awesome. Word. For. Word. (not thought-for-though like NIV or an thought-for-thought translation from NIV...like The Message) Word for freaking word. ANDDDDD with the study bible, (and most ESV's) if there is a variation they list the variation at the bottom. So tight.

Anyways, I am a full supporter of the ESV translation. Obviously any translation is fine because if you are reading the bible in a certain translation it's pretty awesome that you're reading the bible in the first place. That being said, if you are studying the bible and looking for God's Word- I wouldn't take NIV or The Message too seriously. Nothing against them, there is a reason they are considered translations of the bible, just from personal experience I feel like I would much rather read word for word then thought-for-thought.

Sorry about that long rant, Minus 2

Final score = +19!

Read the bible, ftw.

I'd love to say something like, read the whole thing before you make judgments about it but if I'm being honest I think it's pretty sweet that you are reading it in the first place. 20 bonus points. Since I spent this whole post lightly bashing The Message I am going to go ahead and contradict myself, if reading the Old Testament is hard and you can't keep to it-- read the Old Testament in The Message so you understand what is going on and then read it in ESV or another word-for-word translation! Do it!!!!

Final final score = +39!!!!

Are You kidding me?!

I don't like blogs about problems. Even more- I don't like writing them. That being said please excuse my last 10 blogs my entire blogging history...and this blog. But starting next blog I'll try to keep them as upbeat as possible. My apologies.

So I have ended my day today with a general theme of how I feel about living in Denton right now. Bitter probably isn't the best word...maybe a little bit of bitterness mixed with confusion mixed with a patience-problem. Boiling it down it all comes out to a big "Are You Kidding me God?"

I don't want this to sound depressing at all so get that thought out of your head because I am not at all depressed...or pissed, just confused. Back on track- I have no friends in Denton. Not one true friend that I hang out with and call and live life with. A few people go to UNT that I went to high school with, there are a few people I have classes with that I talk to..during class (and of course if heaven forbid someone were to get some crazy illness and need me to take notes for them) and then one or two that I have hung out with once and then fallen off the radar. I have been racking my brain on how I made friends in Arkansas because I didn't go there with a bunch of friends yet when I left I had so many good ones. So what is going on?

I think the Lord is calling me to a season of isolation. I say that only because I have definitely tried to make friends. I go to the same church every week and sit by myself, I even got baptized at the church! (Not to make friends of course but because of my love for Jesus!) I tried to join a home group but they are all full. There aren't enough leaders to lead more home groups so I'm kind of out of luck with that avenue. I have applied to 7 jobs and no one has called me back. Today was my most desperate attempt to make friends. I went to the crime alert meeting at my apartment complex. I was the only one that attended...out of over 300+ residents. After that I went to a different church's College group (The church I currently go to doesn't have a college group) where I sat by myself and met no one. Obvi I could have gone up to a random person and introduced myself but it seemed like EVERYONE was in a group with 2 or 3 other people and were in deep conversation.

I'm not going to lie, I came home very frustrated. Not at the church I went to or the residents in my complex but at God. Why would You call me to a place 300 miles away from my friends and then not deliver? What is the point of being here? I mean I have my ministry in Frisco with Young Life and I absolutely love it. I love my girls, I love the leaders I love the deliverance of the Gospel. I love that. But why Denton? Why UNT? I take the bus every day and every day there are new faces. I go to the same classes where everyone seems to know everyone and I end up just hanging out alone. I even met some of the Young Life leaders here (because I thought we'd have so much in common) but they never remember me when I see them around town. I go to church every week and I am recognized by no one. Why? Again, I am not mad, just confused. I enjoy the time I have to myself. I never sit at home and wish I had friends in Denton to come over and hang out with because I'm usually pretty busy with reading or homework. I do sit at home and wish I had community and fellowship in Denton. What I really long for is a house to live in with a couple of Jesus loving girls in this beautiful city.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. Romans 8:28-30

Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Hebrews 10:35-36

Mmmmm Good one God. Plus 5

I love it. I am ok with not having friends right now because it is building up my relationship with Christ and when I have a problem instead of calling up the first friend I can think of, I call up the only Friend that can honestly say loves me unconditionally and always has my best at heart. I am constantly on my own and being pointed to scripture by the Holy Spirit and it is awesome. Would I choose this isolated life over one filled with friends? Probably not but I'm glad that it has made a nice little(hopefully) appearance.

It has forced me to look back on all the times I was at an event with tons of my friends and saw someone sitting by themselves. It gave them a personality in my mind. I know I was overlooked by tons of people tonight, not even thought about by most. I know that I am someone they will probably never think about again and that it didn't even register that I have a story and a future. So many times I convince myself I am different and unique but in their minds I am just a body occupying space. I know this because I have done that. Non-consciously thought that about countless of people. Now that I know how it feels to be outside of the crowd I want to be on the inside so I can put this knowledge to good use. Other people that have felt the way I felt tonight, I know it.

Another Good one God for tonight. Plus 7

If you get a chance, please pray for endurance for me. And please let me know in a comment or a facebook message or even an email if there is anything I can be praying for you about.

Love you, mean it.

The Village

I don't ever want to be one of those people that say "Matt Chandler says ..." or "At the village we were taught...." etc. because I always want to be someone that says "the bible taught me...." but this website changed my life.

http://denton.thevillagechurch.net/articles

Question/Answers that are backed up by legit scripture.
not Matt Chandler
or The Village
or my young life leader
or my friend
or some guy on the side of the road.

Nope, that thing that The Holy Spirit gave to us. You know, The Bible.


If you were raised in the church, awesome.
I wasn't so I don't know how that feels, but from what I've experienced I feel the desperate need to tell you personally to keep an open mind.
Read Romans 2, look how far being Jewish got people with Jesus. Read Philippians 3, Paul is constantly throwing out his Jewish credentials. Read Ephesians 3. Read Luke 13:23-28.

I do not know everything, believe me I am very far from that. But Since I am such a baby Jesus-follower I have to keep an open mind to everything. I wasn't fed religion as a child so usually when I hear something radical that is "in the bible" I always have to check it out for myself to make sure its true. It breaks my heart that people were taught certain theologies as if they were 100% Truth and they have no room to look for themselves because they were taught at such a young age that one way is the right way always. It's almost like a prejudice because it seems like it's a pre-recorded tape playing over and over in their head. This is not a shot at people who have been raised in the Church. In fact I am very envious of you because you were able to learn about Jesus for 19 years and I started my journey 5 years ago. All I am saying is before you defend a certain theology, question it and find it for yourself in the bible. Google the pros and cons of it. Make your own opinions.

Love you, mean it.