A Perfect Noise for a Perfect Creator

God has placed two wonderful souls in my life. My only two friends in Denton, Autumn and Adam, have decided lead a small bible study every Tuesday night for college students (and beyond) in my tiny 450 square foot studio apartment. Last night was the 4th week and we had about 8 souls in my "living room" gathered for the same purpose, Jesus. The past few weeks have been awesome, I have loved diving so deep into the Word. I look forward to what will come up and be discussed as we go verse by verse in the book of James and to listen to other peoples input has been incredible. We have such a fun mix of people, it's interesting to hear from every walk of life.

This week set apart coincidence from answered prayer. I have been praying since November for friends in Denton. Friends that follow Jesus and that provide fellowship that will support my relationship with Christ. Friends that aren't cancerous, or play politics. Friends that Love, only because Jesus put that emotion in them and not because of my doing. With that being said I am going to try and describe last night. Two new people joined the study and brought along a guitar and their voices for a time of worship. As they strummed along to "Beautiful" by Phil Wickham (listen) while sitting directly below my "Beautiful" painting I was brought to tears. The mental picture I have is something I will never forget.

Eight strangers, 5 brothers and 3 sisters, all together worshiping our Father in my 450 square foot studio apartment.

Jeremiah 31:3 says, "the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you."

Praise God for His faithfulness, for His love and for His heart for His people.

PTL PTL PTL

Praise. The. Lord.

Thank you personally for praying for me.

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about how I felt so isolated in Denton and how I'd tried to make friends and it wasn't happening-- see Are You kidding me?

Well, God has responded. This blog probably wont be too long but I just wanted to say thank you so much. On Wednesday I was able to meet with a fellow UNT transfer student and it was a blast! We got lunch and I had a great time talking and being in fellowship with each other. That night I went to an event at The Village and met a girl that is a member of The Village and we prayed together and it was awesome! THEN, Thursday I went to Frisco a few hours before young life so I could do some bible studying and I met this guy that goes to the Village and he invited me to a home group!!

To say that the Lord has been faithful would be a complete understatement. The Lord has been more then faithful and I am so encouraged by Him.

PTL

Are You kidding me?!

I don't like blogs about problems. Even more- I don't like writing them. That being said please excuse my last 10 blogs my entire blogging history...and this blog. But starting next blog I'll try to keep them as upbeat as possible. My apologies.

So I have ended my day today with a general theme of how I feel about living in Denton right now. Bitter probably isn't the best word...maybe a little bit of bitterness mixed with confusion mixed with a patience-problem. Boiling it down it all comes out to a big "Are You Kidding me God?"

I don't want this to sound depressing at all so get that thought out of your head because I am not at all depressed...or pissed, just confused. Back on track- I have no friends in Denton. Not one true friend that I hang out with and call and live life with. A few people go to UNT that I went to high school with, there are a few people I have classes with that I talk to..during class (and of course if heaven forbid someone were to get some crazy illness and need me to take notes for them) and then one or two that I have hung out with once and then fallen off the radar. I have been racking my brain on how I made friends in Arkansas because I didn't go there with a bunch of friends yet when I left I had so many good ones. So what is going on?

I think the Lord is calling me to a season of isolation. I say that only because I have definitely tried to make friends. I go to the same church every week and sit by myself, I even got baptized at the church! (Not to make friends of course but because of my love for Jesus!) I tried to join a home group but they are all full. There aren't enough leaders to lead more home groups so I'm kind of out of luck with that avenue. I have applied to 7 jobs and no one has called me back. Today was my most desperate attempt to make friends. I went to the crime alert meeting at my apartment complex. I was the only one that attended...out of over 300+ residents. After that I went to a different church's College group (The church I currently go to doesn't have a college group) where I sat by myself and met no one. Obvi I could have gone up to a random person and introduced myself but it seemed like EVERYONE was in a group with 2 or 3 other people and were in deep conversation.

I'm not going to lie, I came home very frustrated. Not at the church I went to or the residents in my complex but at God. Why would You call me to a place 300 miles away from my friends and then not deliver? What is the point of being here? I mean I have my ministry in Frisco with Young Life and I absolutely love it. I love my girls, I love the leaders I love the deliverance of the Gospel. I love that. But why Denton? Why UNT? I take the bus every day and every day there are new faces. I go to the same classes where everyone seems to know everyone and I end up just hanging out alone. I even met some of the Young Life leaders here (because I thought we'd have so much in common) but they never remember me when I see them around town. I go to church every week and I am recognized by no one. Why? Again, I am not mad, just confused. I enjoy the time I have to myself. I never sit at home and wish I had friends in Denton to come over and hang out with because I'm usually pretty busy with reading or homework. I do sit at home and wish I had community and fellowship in Denton. What I really long for is a house to live in with a couple of Jesus loving girls in this beautiful city.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. Romans 8:28-30

Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Hebrews 10:35-36

Mmmmm Good one God. Plus 5

I love it. I am ok with not having friends right now because it is building up my relationship with Christ and when I have a problem instead of calling up the first friend I can think of, I call up the only Friend that can honestly say loves me unconditionally and always has my best at heart. I am constantly on my own and being pointed to scripture by the Holy Spirit and it is awesome. Would I choose this isolated life over one filled with friends? Probably not but I'm glad that it has made a nice little(hopefully) appearance.

It has forced me to look back on all the times I was at an event with tons of my friends and saw someone sitting by themselves. It gave them a personality in my mind. I know I was overlooked by tons of people tonight, not even thought about by most. I know that I am someone they will probably never think about again and that it didn't even register that I have a story and a future. So many times I convince myself I am different and unique but in their minds I am just a body occupying space. I know this because I have done that. Non-consciously thought that about countless of people. Now that I know how it feels to be outside of the crowd I want to be on the inside so I can put this knowledge to good use. Other people that have felt the way I felt tonight, I know it.

Another Good one God for tonight. Plus 7

If you get a chance, please pray for endurance for me. And please let me know in a comment or a facebook message or even an email if there is anything I can be praying for you about.

Love you, mean it.

Home.

Hello Real Life!

I have moved!!! I am now a resident of Denton, Tx and the official owner (well, renter) of my very first apartment! Last Saturday, with GREAT help, I made the BIG move from Melissa, Tx to Denton. I know 4 people that live here (including my leasing agent, so I'm not sure if she counts). This will be a mighty adventure. God has definitely brought me to this and He's been planning it from what I can physically see for 2 years. I worked at a YoungLife camp 2 summers ago where I met Cody Strange, then re-met him this past summer while working at a different summer camp 700 miles away. Ended up getting invited by Cody to take girls to camp later that summer, fell in love with the girls and made some great friends. Went back to Arkansas for school and realized how much I didn't love it there (with the help of Cody reminding me I had a YoungLife family here that loved me...pretty much daily) I knew that God was calling me to a different place. If I wouldn't have been in Arkansas in the first place I wouldn't have applied to go to SharpTop (where I saw Cody for the 2nd summer in a row) and I wouldn't have taken girls to camp and who knows where I'd be. So in conclusion Arkansas had to happen, and through everything God has really opened up my eyes. I was offered an apartment with a good friend of mine that I would have loved, but I didn't feel like God was on bored. After many late night phone calls with numerous friends and a lot of prayer I realized that God was definitely calling me to live by myself and finally grow up which brings me here. To a 450 square foot studio apartment. For now (hopefully) it's just me myself and I. I am hoping for a dog soon but it's taken a lot to convince the parental units. It's been pretty back and forth and I can see it going either way. On one side, I am living by myself and would really like someone (even if it is a dog!) here to be with me and alert me if I'm not alone. On the other hand a dog (the ones I'm looking at) live for about 15 years and that would be an issue if I ever wanted to study abroad or travel. If I eventually developed roommates I could have them fall in love with the little sucker, and then ask them to watch the dog for a few months (of course I'd pay for the food...don't think I'm going to leave them high and dry!!) while I'm away or if I just don't get a dog I can save money. I really would love one so we'll see. Keep the prayers going!! Let's see. I got internet and cable on Monday, and will start school the next Tuesday! Everything is happening so fast. Crazy. It's so crazy how God moves in peoples lives. My heart has completely shifted, when Cody first told me I should move home I thought he was crazy. I just prayed about it because I felt obligated too and it was usually the last thing I prayed about for about a second. I thought it was silly and never going to happen but God just put this detour in my life and with a little teeth pulling I'm finally here. To be honest I have always moved, from elementary school I was suppose to go to West but went to Apollo. From Apollo Jr. High I was suppose to go to Berkner and I went to Richardson, then moved in the middle of Sophomore year, stayed in Melissa for a year and then moved back to Richardson for my Senior year. I just wanted to stay in one place for college and graduate from a school I'd started at for the first time in my life and when I realized I needed to go back to Texas I was not happy about having to change. Then while apartment hunting I laughed at the idea of living alone, once again God uprooted my life. Love it. I'm happy to be following God's will and think this season of me + God is going to be incredible. There will be distractions but not nearly as many as usually. I am finally being forced to grow up, to cook and clean on my own, will it be tough? Heck yes. Will it be worth it? Definitely. This will literally just be me. and God. Cool. He has really taken everything out of my life that could get in the way, and therefore I know He is up to something, so I look forward to seeing how this all turns out. In about a month I will be completely done reading the bible and that is pretty exciting (Probably in the next 2 weeks) my goal is to be done before school starts, but that's about 3 hours of reading a day. Once I am done I will get a few of the books I've been putting off out of the way and then it's back to Genesis 1:1 in ESV. Or maybe Matthew 1:1. The old testament wasn't the easiest thing to read and I might new a small break from it for a little while. Not that it wasn't great. I learned a lot. I just think I should focus more on when Jesus was on earth, because He is the bomb. Fun times.

In the past 4 days I've really felt like this is where I belong. This is a feeling I wanted to have when I was in Arkansas but I know I convinced myself I did belong because of circumstances. Sure, I miss Arkansas a bunch already, the school spirit (although orientation today had a lot of unwanted school spirit at 8 am) the beautiful campus, the trees, etc. but when I drive through Denton or today when I walked around on campus I felt like this is where I am suppose to be and God has definitely honored my willingness to pick up and go at the drop of a hat by giving me security here. When I walked into my apartment for the first time, all my boxes were on their way to Denton thanks to my lovely neighbor, sister and mother, all I had was my purse, my contract and my key and I knew it. That very second I knew I had picked the right place. Sure one of my kitchen drawers was missing and if you stand on my porch you can see the county jail but this place was the perfect size, the perfect price, and God called me here.

Please continue to pray for me during this crazy transition, and let me know if you have anything I should be praying for you about. Prayer is so great because I get to call up my Best Friend and ask for advice from the One who knows all the answers, so it would be my privilege to pray for you...just another excuse to talk to my Dad.

Picture of my apartment will be up asap! Once I get all my furniture and everything done I'll be sure and let everyone know!

Love.