Control issues.

-I am still missing a drawer in my kitchen

-My closet light doesn't/hasn't ever work

-Maintenance hates me.

-My internet stopped working and I had to call and get my unit replaced

-My financial aid took 2 months to go through

-I had to change apartments 2 days before I moved in because my apartment wasn't ready forcing me to call my cable/internet, bank & electric company to change my address last minute

-Walmart charged me twice for one big purchase and couldn't fix it for a month

-The dog situation has gone way down hill

-My oven is about 100 degrees hotter then what it is suppose to be

-My smoke alarm goes off weekly

-My freezer doesn't work and I didn't know until I spent $30 on frozen foods just for them to go bad

-I still have yet to receive all my text books

-I bought the wrong textbooks off craigslist because of false advertisement

-My hot water only works for 15 minutes

-I got ripped off by ebay trying to buy movies

Honestly the list could go on.

I was driving home the other day thinking about if moving to Denton was the right thing for me to do, I mean all this stuff keeps happening. Once one crisis is adverted another one bigger and harder comes to light. After praying about this I came to realize that I had lost complete control of my life, but seconds later I realized that I never had control of my life. Sure when I decided to move to Denton I had everything going for me and everything thing was falling into place but to think I had control was a misconception being fed by Satan.

I guess I like being in control, maybe that's my fatal flaw, maybe this whole experience moving to Denton was to teach me that I'm never in control. I loved Arkansas, but God picked me up and said no. After dealing with that I tried to make plans for Denton and God changed every single one of them. Every plan. To where I ended up in a studio apartment across from a county jail with a broken oven and freezer.

I like it this way. (No sarcasm) I like being constantly reminded that God is in control of my life. These little mishaps that keep coming up are wonderfully showing me His greatness. I've come to love not being in control. It's so much less stressful and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. What's funny is I was the one putting all the weight on my shoulders to begin with. God never expected me to try and control my life, my parents never expected me to carry the weight of our family and my friends didn't expect me to control the outcome of our friendship. I am so thankful that I've never been in control, with my track record who knows where I'd be, but thanks to God's grace I've ended up alright. I'm still alive, well physically. I'm not in jail, I'm following Jesus and I have a personal relationship with Christ.

I feel a cheesy Carrie Underwood song coming to mind...

7:01 PM

I wrote this blog about an hour ago maybe more, maybe less. After feeling satisfied I sat down to read some more of Prayer by Yancy to keep up my chapter a day only to find this statement about humility:

"Most of what I am -- my nationality and mother tongue, my race, my looks and body shape, my intelligence, the century in which I was born, the fact that I am still alive and relatively healthy --I had little or no control over. On a larger scale, I cannot affect the rotation of planet earth, or the orbit that maintains a proper distance from the sun so that we neither freeze nor roast, or the gravitational forces that somehow keep our spinning galaxy in exquisite balance. There is a God and I am not it. "

God has the best sense of humor and He is so Good.